my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
