remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I believe in your delicious
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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