But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
