ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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