After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
