im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
