I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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