I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
