that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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