Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
