One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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