she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize