I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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