Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize