she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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