i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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