i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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