Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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