I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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