How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
40s are totally the cure
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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