Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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