Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
