I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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