This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
