dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
