She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize