and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
