so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
