Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize