just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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