physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
