Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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