She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
