my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
