somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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