Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
