I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
