I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
NoShamevember. You game?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
