I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
