I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
