So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sorry about my life...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
