i permit you to call me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize