Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
