You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
