Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
