she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
