sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
