he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
