I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
