Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
