Sry I called you an 8
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
