I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
