you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
