his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
