Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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