When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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