After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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