so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
