Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
