Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
