Pappa wants mamma naked
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FUCK WHALES
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
