In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
