I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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