so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
