so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
