guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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