I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
try to milk me bitch
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
