I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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