Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
