how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
