At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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