Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
