THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
