If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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