Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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