So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
