He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
